Michael Jackson - 'Thriller'

I’d like to present you with two truths, one personal and one universal. The personal: Michael Jackson’s Thriller was the first album I was ever obsessed with. The title track was the first song on the first mix tape I ever made back when I was maybe six or seven years old (The tape also featured the X-Men theme song, “Jeepers Creepers” from an old Porky Pig cartoon of the same name and the opening music from Spider-Man 2 for Game Boy). But as far as non-animated tunes went, "Thriller" was tops.

Now here’s the universal truth: There is a copy of Thriller in every household in the world. It could be on vinyl, cassette or CD. Like me, you could have taken your family’s copy with you to college. If your household doesn’t have a copy of Thriller, it is because A) Your family sold it in a yard sale for 15 cents, B) It’s hidden in your crawlspace/attic, forgotten or C) You were right all along; your parents are robots/aliens/both, and you should call the government.

With over 100 million copies sold worldwide, Thriller is the highest-selling record of all time, so I’m not totally off-base for asserting that everyone besides space cyborgs has it. To commemorate the album’s 25th anniversary, Epic has released three special editions. There’s a 16-track disc with covers by current pop stars like Black Eyed Peas and Kanye West, a deluxe 16-tracker with a book and an iTunes release with 35—count ’em—35 tracks, including three music videos and a clip of Jackson’s “Billie Jean” performance from Motown’s own 25th anniversary back in the ’80s. For the sake of this article, I bought the iTunes deluxe edition for $19.90.

Listening to Thriller’s original nine tracks is a true pop joy. The record sounds just as great as it did during my childhood and, I’m guessing, when it was released in 1982. Album opener “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” is six minutes of pop, disco, R&B and world music merging into perfection. The grooving bass and guitar, the clinking hi-hat and, of course, Jackson’s trademark vocals fuse into a wonderfully funky effect that flows from the verse to the chorus. It gets even better when the song hits its true hook, the “ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa” outro.

Much of Thriller sounds the same today as then—Vincent Price’s rap on “Thriller” is still awesome, Paul McCartney’s duet with Jackson on “The Girl is Mine” is still incredibly cheesy (yet cute) and “Billie Jean” is still one of the best R&B singles of all time. Some of Thriller is quite surprising all these years later, though. “Beat It” is pretty flippin’ metal for a pop tune, thanks to Eddie Van Halen’s c-c-c-razy guitar solo.

So, yeah, in case you were wondering, Thriller is still awesome.

What isn’t awesome is the glut of bonus tracks. The covers are mostly crap. Peas’ mastermind will.i.am does an all right job reworking the instrumentals on “The Girl is Mine” with a sexier groove, but his rapping completely undoes the flow. His constant assertion that “She like the way I rock” is stupid. There’s no other word for it. “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” is six minutes long, will.i.am’s “The Girl is Mine” is three minutes long, and somehow those lengths feel inverted when listening. Oh, and the less said about Fergie’s “Beat It 2008” and will.i.am’s “P.Y.T.,” the better.

The other covers are more decent. Akon’s take on “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” can’t compare to the original, but his piano intro and stripped down melody at least make the song his own. Oddly enough, notorious egomaniac Kanye West stays the most faithful to his cut, a “Billie Jean” remix that adds a more hip-hop-based beat. While he removes most of the original arrangements, the vibe remains similar. Neither Akon nor West can compare to Jackson the composer, though, and these tunes sound noticeably emptier.

Aside from some sweet Price outtakes and Thriller’s music videos (Zombies! Yes!), the rest of the bonus material is of a one-and-done sort. There are seven different versions of “Billie Jean,” and while five are arguably good (although some would say you only need the single edit), no one needs to hear the 1981 demo or the “Underground Mix.” Nor do they need to hear the numerous interviews with Thriller producer Quincy Jones, who sounds like Bill Cosby with a mouthful of cotton balls. I respect his craft, but I don’t need to hear him sing Jackson’s melodies and tell directionless stories. It’s just awkward.

While E.T. cut “Someone in the Dark” and true rarities “For All Time” and “Carousel” might appeal to completionists, they are again not of pressing importance. The far superior “Human Nature” took the place of ballad “Carousel” on Thriller, and it’s obvious why—everything from the lyrics to the hooks are better. So overall, the bonus material isn’t too hot. Still, though, Thriller’s original nine songs and three music videos (Where's "The Girl is Mine?") make for a brilliant pop listening experience, and even some of those covers aren’t too heinous. Thank goodness for iTunes’ pick-and-choose option.