'Define the Meaning' gangbang #1

I started writing for a New Jersey zine called Define the Meaning. It doesn't pay, but the reviews only have to be 4-5 sentences each any way. I just finished writing my reviews in one sitting, as you can tell by the way I go for full-on "fuck you" ranting before gradually settling for records I know I'll never listen to again (by choice, anyway). Rather than post 'em separately, here's a big ol' bukkake o' text:

Does It Offend You Yeah? – You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into

Their name might be obnoxious, but Does It Offend You Yeah? sums up the band’s style perfectly. This post-punk/electronic four-piece crafts techno-tastic tunes that all run slightly longer than necessary, resulting in a record that might test the limits of some. And yet, the more I spin You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into, the harder it is to stop it. Maybe it’s the way the band rocks hard enough to score an industrial comparison (not to mention justification for their Nine Inch Nails opening slot), or their charming British accents. Regardless, Does It Offend You Yeah? might just be a much needed shock to the system.

Me First and The Gimme Gimmes – Have Another Ball!

Like any good covers band, Me First and The Gimme Gimmes are best experienced live (They have cool guitars, you see). But as far as studio recordings go, there’s nothing wrong with the band’s recent B-sides collection, Have Another Ball!. Covers bands thrive on how well you know the covers, so for me, it’s all about Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young” and Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America.” Combining The Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Bop” with Caroline King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” is the genius stroke, though.

Hit the Lights – Skip School Start Fights

Lord knows I love a good rhyme. And paint splatter! Paint splatter is cool, like on Hit the Lights’ new album cover. What I don’t love, however, is autotuned vocals and ultra clean pop rock. Sure, you could call Hit the Lights pop-punk, if sugar-shits is your thing, but listening to this warmed over post-blink, post-Drive Thru Records, post-good taste bunk is giving me a headache. 14-year-old girls are probably stoked, though.

There For Tomorrow – There For Tomorrow

What There For Tomorrow claims to sound like: “Alternative Rock/Post-Hardcore Music with adrenaline-filled lyrics.” What There For Tomorrow isn’t: Please see above. The band gets points for only forcing an EP on me, but man is hard to get through this nu-emo bullcrock. I think I hear promise in the spacey ambience that the band flirts with before getting down to angstier business, but that might just me trying to hope beyond hope. Go buy some Mudhoney and Fugazi CDs, boys.

A Coastline Ending – In the Name of Progression

This band shows huge promise on opening track “Made By Machine.” With its overlapping piano/synth and smidgen of bass, the song comes off Radiohead/Coldplay put through the emo filter, before blowing its load on an overwrought chorus. But I swear this Connecticut dudes can do better. In the Name of Progression is danceable, I’ll give it that, but only because I’ve been listening to too much crap like Hit the Lights.

The Feelings Mutual – The Feelings Mutual

Mixing Silverchair’s brand of grunge with a dash of ambience, The Feelings Mutual manage to outshine their awful, awful name. This five-song EP won’t change the world, but it will give you some good tuneskis to hum along in your head. The best track here is arguably “Soul Korea,” with its infectious backing vocals and ghostly guitar solo. The whole effort is only 15 minutes long, perfect for rapid fire multiple spins.

I Hate Kate – Embrace the Curse

This pop rock trio indulges more electronic tendencies, resulting in a record that, at the very least, you could try to pass off to your parents as the new Mindless Self Indulgence album. Overall, I Hate Kate’s nervous energy gets undone by tepid production, but Embrace the Curse is amicable enough. Neither gratingly painful nor spiritually life-affirming, I Hate Kate is the ethereal synth-rock answer to Sugarcult.