'Define the Meaning' gangbang #4

Define the Meaning sent me another round of albums to review. This batch was a little less interesting, although I do dig Defeater's joint. Feel free to let me know if I sound like a twat, ya dig?

Defeater – Travels

Blistering, passionate, and highly literate hardcore that falls somewhere between Have Heart, Crime in Stereo, and This is Hell, Defeater’s Travels is a disarming record on every level – the rockers will grind your bones, the lyrics go way beyond “you abuse us / we will fight!” hardcore clichés, and that Saddle Creek-style acoustic surprise in the countdown between “Prophet in Plain Clothes” and “Carrying Weight” is both random and awesome. Defeater lives up to their name; these jams outpace lesser stompers by miles. Travels rarely lets up and never disappoints. Overall, a great ass-kicker.

Liquid Limbs – Orquid

This Tool-loving twosome shares not only Maynard James Keenan’s fondness for choir crooning and metal shredding, but his dumb/absurd sense of humor as well. Orquid (the cover features orchids and a squid, ya see) often settles for sub-par Puscifer jokes and even weaker Undertow rips. The lyrics will occasionally garner a chuckle – what is “the virgin kamikaze prize?” Is it bad? Closing cut “Whole Universe” attempts to contemplate all of existence, which provokes vocalist/guitarist Kevin Nowak to scream “holy fuck!” a lot. These aren’t the smartest songs out there, and the lack of band members limits the instrumentation a bit. For a hard-rocking, grungy duo, you’re better off checking out Big Business.

The Motorcycle Industry – Electric Education

“Let’s spend some time on the Internet / tell the message board kids what they already know,” goes one memorably snarky line from “Lesson One,” the opening track from The Motorcycle Industry’s Electric Foundation. Believe me, the record’s got more of ’em, operating a mildly dorky space left vacant by Harvey Danger. The acoustic guitars and keys’ prominence gives the songs a more indie rock vibe, but frontman John Langan uses uncomplicatedly catchy pop punk hooks to get his points across. If you’re reading Define the Meaning (and if not, what the eff, bra?), then chances are you’ll dig the topics: shitty kids at shows, colored vinyl, killing time at parks, and drunk roommates.

The Number 12 Looks Like You – Worse Than Alone

I’m sure Worse Than Alone will get props for the barrage of time changes and dissonance, but it lacks cohesion. The record violently shifts from prog to thrash on a dime, which could be great if there was any attempt to blend the two. As is, I hear a handful of decent ideas (the first half of “To Catch a Tiger”) and a handful of stupid ones (the second of half of “To Catch a Tiger”). “Given Life” has some sweet finger-tapping, but for like one second. The Number 12 Looks Like You gets points for having solid technical skills, but loses twice as many for having no got-damn sense at all.

Shirock – Everything Burns

Shirock occasionally aims for Paramore’s adrenaline-fueled pop rock and The Hush Sound’s lush guy/girl pop classicism, but more often they come off as ham-fisted as The Fray. Co-vocalists Chuck and Pap Shirock have pretty voices and sound great together, even if Charles does slur a bit too obnoxiously at times, but that doesn’t save the over-the-top stadium band production or limp songwriting. And without any clear cut hooks, these songs won’t even qualify as guilty pleasures. This will be your summer jam if you love teen dramas.

Sugarhigh – Box Office Poison

In what I super hope is an Empire Records reference, Sugarhigh offers us listeners Box Office Poison, an awfully amateurish EP of pop punk tunes. The songs don’t stray too far from sunny ’90s Cali-punk. It’s kind of hard to hate something this bouncy, although the recording quality is so rough I almost don’t believe it was done in a studio. The cymbals on “Quickest Way Outta Town” all have the same shrill, hollow sound, forcing me to think that some of these drum parts were programmed with an old keyboard. Lyrical clunkers like “I wish that I could tell you / that you’re important to me / but you’re not” don’t help either. Still, though, it’s pop punk! Let’s have some fun!

Tall Ships – Voyages

Ah God. Ah Jesus no. Sweet Piss Christ no. Voyages’ lyrics sheet is like one long, directionless rant. Tall Ships frontman Brett Dierolf notes that “everything in sight has gone dim, and the only thing I’m able to see is illuminated by starlight.” Ergo, he must “search for the answers to questions… of everything. But all to no avail.” Regardless, “I open up my eyes and see again. See what this all means.” However, “I cannot comprehend. What is all of this?” Therefore, who gives a shit? If the backbeat is your bottom line, then Tall Ships will get you by, but I swear I’ve heard these kinds of rants from homeless guys bumming around Market East station.

'Define the Meaning' gangbang #3

[Welp, I reckon I've been doin' somethin' right by the Define the Meaning, as their editor, Karen, asked me to do more reviews for the next issue. These will run with the articles I wrote in #2. I'd like to state for the record that I really do like Facing New York's new album. Side note: A band from the U.K. asked me to review their album for my blog. How weird yet flattering yet weird is that?]

The Answer – Never Too Late EP

Oh no, my Irish friends, it is too late for your Led Zep-loving brand of classic rock. We here in the states have been enduring the likes of Hinder, Buckcherry, and Silvertide for years, and lemme tell ya, this pseudo-bluesy bar bullshit has got to stop. I hate Aerosmith. I hate Robert Plant. I love The Hobbit, but I hate Led Zeppelin. The Answer’s self-indulgent, overly long guitar solos (overly long songs in general, for that matter), whining, grating vocals, and trite, pointless lyrics combine to form a maelstrom of weak songwriting. If you’re going to rip off bands from 30 years ago, couldn’t you settle for The Clash or, at the very least the ominous sludge of Black Sabbath?

Baskervilles – Twilight

Following the twee playbook like their lives depended on it, Baskervilles don’t quite hit the orchestral flourishes of Belle & Sebastion or Camera Obscura, nor the sarcastic witticisms of Stars. But the music is light and airy enough. I suppose the best and worst thing I could say about Twilight is that it sounds “nice.” You can dance to it, but the beats don’t require much rhythm or energy. The lyrics are forgettable; neither condemnable nor impressive. It’s not sleepy, but it doesn’t rock. So yeah… it’s nice. If the taste of water could form a band, it might sound like Baskervilles.

Bella Morte – Beautiful Death

Beautiful Death starts off promisingly enough. Frontman Andy Deane has a Martin Gore-esque baritone, made all the more chilling by a sole synth line on opening number “Find Forever Gone,” but whatever initial interest is piqued is soon dashed once the rest of the band joins in. Bella Morte wants so hard to be dark like Depeche Mode while still maintaining a metal edge. And indeed, the drums do factor in a lot of metal double-kick work, but the guitar riffs sound so canned that the group never quite achieves rockin’ levels. I never thought I’d write “Orgy did it better” in a review but uh… have you dudes heard Candyass?

Danava – Unonou

I take it back. I’m putting a moratorium on being influenced by Black Sabbath. As an exercise in guitar dexterity, Danava is solid. But as a compelling musical outfit, not so much. The group noodles on and on and on and… you get the idea. The album title is a made-up word, and the reasoning behind the title (“I hate being specific. It’s boring,” quoth frontman/guitarist Dusty Sparkles) more or less sums up the band’s songwriting. Sure, the songs are virtuosic. And they also blend brass/woodwind, strings, and synths into the sludgy metal mix. But Sabbath kinda already did that. Like 30 years ago. So while the group’s songs exhibit a technical ecstasy on par with uh… Technical Ecstasy… there’s little left to the imagination. Danava’s songs require skill to play, but ultimately these guys are trying really, really hard for such a redundant payoff. I’m gonna go spin Vol. 4…

Danger Radio – Punch Your Lights Out

Proof that you’re getting too old for this shit: When the groups you hated for ripping off your favorite bands start getting ripped off by other acts. Just as The Rocket Summer bastardized my love of Something Corporate’s heartfelt yet catchy piano rock by using way too many instruments to cover up poor lyrical choices, so too does Danger Radio do the same a generation later. Super poppy and extra super clean, this stuff haunts diabetics’ dreams. It’s somewhat unfair to draw only a SoCo reference, though, as Danger Radio includes way more funk, so all you closet Maroon 5 fans can feel cheated too, I guess.

Facing New York – Get Hot

Going through the review pile has been a bit of chore this issue, so I was less than enthused when I popped in Facing New York’s Get Hot. And admittedly, I was a bit underwhelmed by the band’s quasi-funky yet understated indie rock. Then the record shoved its delicately danceable tentacles right through my ears. Oh, I screamed at first. And there was a lot of blood. Like, Johnny Depp’s death scene from Nightmare on Elm Street-levels. But when I came to, halfway through the album, I realized I actually liked Get Hot a poop-ton. Somewhere between Steely Dan, Cake, Boz Scaggs, and The Dismemberment Plan, Facing New York crafted a delicious, catchy record. The second half drops the funk for more of a rock angle, but honestly, the band sounds great either way. Mad props for everyone!

The Out_Circuit – Pierce the Empire With a Sound

No, they’re not a queercore band. The Out_Circuit attempts to fuse Christian, industrial, darkwave, and a dash of hardcore, and the result is somewhat uneven. Opening number “Come Out Shooting” is appropriately spooky and ethereal, but the borderline screamo vocals conflict with the music just a little too much. This collision of styles might have been the point, but the jarring result simply doesn’t work. The record leans more clearly in the ambient realm on track two, “Passchendaele,” which is for the best. The Out_Circuit sometimes gets a tad too iconoclastic for its own good, but when central figure Nathan Burke embraces his subtler, bass-heavy notions (and cleaner vocals), he really shines.

'Define the Meaning' Gangbang #2

[Finally got a second round of albums to do for Define the Meaning. I legitimately liked three of the albums, which is a plus. Guess which ones!]

Anarbor – The Natural Way

I’m assuming the band name is a Red Letter Day reference, as Anarbor cultivates the sort of pop rock-oriented emo music that The Get Up Kids once mastered. This four song EP is a tad too polished for my taste; a little Four Minute Mile-style grit would be appreciated. And with TGUK reunion rumors flying, I can’t help but feel that Anarbor is about to become irrelevant anyway. Of course, they could always settle for being the new Hot Rod Circuit.

Confide – Shout the Truth

THIS! ALBUM! IS! A! PIECE! OF! SHIT! Hear ye, hear ye, young lads and/or lasses – if you’re going to write “post-hardcore” songs, either make sure your lyrics don’t blow mega-chunks or check that your vocalist’s scream is so primal and devastating and demonic that it doesn’t matter. Confide frontman Ross Kenyon is stuck in a weird place; he can’t quite sound harsh enough to come off badass, but he can’t really hit notes either, so he’s not much of a singer. My advice: drop the douche and go instrumental. It’s not like couplets like “Honestly, were you sleeping? / Reach out touch me now” were defining kids’ lives anyway.

Electric Six – Flashy

As far as holding patterns go, the latest from Dick Valentine and co. is actually kind of good. Flashy never hits the giddy highs of Señor Smoke or Fire, but it’s still a solid collection of raunchy Detroit Rock City tuneskis that are fun and funny; catchy and kitschy. At this point, Electric Six is pretty much playing for the converted, as Flashy deviates little from the band’s potent mix of rock, funk, horns, and synths. But numbers like “Lovers Beware” and “Making Progress” are top-notch. The only real problem is that Valentine is clearly running out of areas to mine comedy gold from, as songs like “Formula 409” and “Graphic Designer,” while decent-sounding, don’t really offer much in terms of humor.

Greeley Estates – Go West Young Man, Let the Evil Go East

To quote the everlovin’ Bouncing Souls, “East Coast! Fuck You!” Some of us are doin’ OK in the East, thank you very much. Arizona’s Greeley Estates dish out screechy, metal-y screamo adequately, but the sound leaves little affect on the listener. You’ll remember that the guitars squealed, and that there was a lot of double bass. And maybe the song “If I Could Be Frank, You’re Ugly,” but only because that title is hi-larious. Overall, this style was played out like five years ago, and even then it wasn’t that great.

Japanther – Tut Tut, Now Shake Ya Butt

You call it fuzzy Brooklyn bass-n-drums hipster combo, I call it good ol’ fashioned pop punk. Underneath that NYC cool are simple, fun songs (like The Ramones!). Some of the tracks are broken up by humorous samples (like Dillinger Four!). Tut Tut, Now Shake Ya Butt is a catchy collection of rapid fire lo-fi jams (like The Dead Milkmen!). Just skip the lengthy spoken word pieces by Penny Rimbaud of Crass ‘cause they’re just not fun or funny (unlike Anti-Flag’s “This is Not a Crass Song”).

Lipona – Atlas

I’m not saying this always works, but sometimes you really can tell how good or bad an album is going to be based on the cover. Lipona’s album Atlas has a pretty boring cover; blue photo of the Earth with white text over it. And unsurprisingly, the music ain’t much more interesting. If you like punk bands that vaguely resemble blink-182, Pennywise, and Offspring with a dash o’ screamo, then Lipona might help you adequately kill some time.

Polysics – We Ate the Machine

There are too many elements from Polysic’s hyper-accelerated new wave/punk style to pick out for the band to be considered anything other than original. They’ve got the J-pop sound of The Pillows (FlCl to my otaku brethren!). They can be just as spastic as early Elvis Costello, especially on organ-laden tunes like “Pretty Good.” And fans of the crazed synthy energy of Mindless Self Indulgence will feel a surge of glee after spinning this disc. Extremely energetic, Polysics will give you the sugary passion needed to punch through mountains. I have no idea what these folks are singing, but I like how they sing it.

This is Benji… - Far Too Honest

At his best, This is Benji… recalls the shimmering indie pop of Band of Horses or mid-period Nada Surf. At his worst, he comes off like David Gray trying to front a rock band – overly earnest and not particularly heavy. But there are flashes of brilliance on Far Too Honest, like the slight opener “I Miss You” or the uber-catchy “Everywhere You Go.” When he keeps it light, everything is awesome. But the dude tries way too hard to break that vibe up with faux-alternative tunes that, to be blunt, kind of suck. If Benji can learn to embrace his stripped down, subtle folk sensibilities though, his next effort will be pretty gosh dang brilliant.

'Define the Meaning' gangbang #1

I started writing for a New Jersey zine called Define the Meaning. It doesn't pay, but the reviews only have to be 4-5 sentences each any way. I just finished writing my reviews in one sitting, as you can tell by the way I go for full-on "fuck you" ranting before gradually settling for records I know I'll never listen to again (by choice, anyway). Rather than post 'em separately, here's a big ol' bukkake o' text:

Does It Offend You Yeah? – You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into

Their name might be obnoxious, but Does It Offend You Yeah? sums up the band’s style perfectly. This post-punk/electronic four-piece crafts techno-tastic tunes that all run slightly longer than necessary, resulting in a record that might test the limits of some. And yet, the more I spin You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into, the harder it is to stop it. Maybe it’s the way the band rocks hard enough to score an industrial comparison (not to mention justification for their Nine Inch Nails opening slot), or their charming British accents. Regardless, Does It Offend You Yeah? might just be a much needed shock to the system.

Me First and The Gimme Gimmes – Have Another Ball!

Like any good covers band, Me First and The Gimme Gimmes are best experienced live (They have cool guitars, you see). But as far as studio recordings go, there’s nothing wrong with the band’s recent B-sides collection, Have Another Ball!. Covers bands thrive on how well you know the covers, so for me, it’s all about Billy Joel’s “Only the Good Die Young” and Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America.” Combining The Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Bop” with Caroline King’s “You’ve Got a Friend” is the genius stroke, though.

Hit the Lights – Skip School Start Fights

Lord knows I love a good rhyme. And paint splatter! Paint splatter is cool, like on Hit the Lights’ new album cover. What I don’t love, however, is autotuned vocals and ultra clean pop rock. Sure, you could call Hit the Lights pop-punk, if sugar-shits is your thing, but listening to this warmed over post-blink, post-Drive Thru Records, post-good taste bunk is giving me a headache. 14-year-old girls are probably stoked, though.

There For Tomorrow – There For Tomorrow

What There For Tomorrow claims to sound like: “Alternative Rock/Post-Hardcore Music with adrenaline-filled lyrics.” What There For Tomorrow isn’t: Please see above. The band gets points for only forcing an EP on me, but man is hard to get through this nu-emo bullcrock. I think I hear promise in the spacey ambience that the band flirts with before getting down to angstier business, but that might just me trying to hope beyond hope. Go buy some Mudhoney and Fugazi CDs, boys.

A Coastline Ending – In the Name of Progression

This band shows huge promise on opening track “Made By Machine.” With its overlapping piano/synth and smidgen of bass, the song comes off Radiohead/Coldplay put through the emo filter, before blowing its load on an overwrought chorus. But I swear this Connecticut dudes can do better. In the Name of Progression is danceable, I’ll give it that, but only because I’ve been listening to too much crap like Hit the Lights.

The Feelings Mutual – The Feelings Mutual

Mixing Silverchair’s brand of grunge with a dash of ambience, The Feelings Mutual manage to outshine their awful, awful name. This five-song EP won’t change the world, but it will give you some good tuneskis to hum along in your head. The best track here is arguably “Soul Korea,” with its infectious backing vocals and ghostly guitar solo. The whole effort is only 15 minutes long, perfect for rapid fire multiple spins.

I Hate Kate – Embrace the Curse

This pop rock trio indulges more electronic tendencies, resulting in a record that, at the very least, you could try to pass off to your parents as the new Mindless Self Indulgence album. Overall, I Hate Kate’s nervous energy gets undone by tepid production, but Embrace the Curse is amicable enough. Neither gratingly painful nor spiritually life-affirming, I Hate Kate is the ethereal synth-rock answer to Sugarcult.