'Define the Meaning' gangbang #3

[Welp, I reckon I've been doin' somethin' right by the Define the Meaning, as their editor, Karen, asked me to do more reviews for the next issue. These will run with the articles I wrote in #2. I'd like to state for the record that I really do like Facing New York's new album. Side note: A band from the U.K. asked me to review their album for my blog. How weird yet flattering yet weird is that?]

The Answer – Never Too Late EP

Oh no, my Irish friends, it is too late for your Led Zep-loving brand of classic rock. We here in the states have been enduring the likes of Hinder, Buckcherry, and Silvertide for years, and lemme tell ya, this pseudo-bluesy bar bullshit has got to stop. I hate Aerosmith. I hate Robert Plant. I love The Hobbit, but I hate Led Zeppelin. The Answer’s self-indulgent, overly long guitar solos (overly long songs in general, for that matter), whining, grating vocals, and trite, pointless lyrics combine to form a maelstrom of weak songwriting. If you’re going to rip off bands from 30 years ago, couldn’t you settle for The Clash or, at the very least the ominous sludge of Black Sabbath?

Baskervilles – Twilight

Following the twee playbook like their lives depended on it, Baskervilles don’t quite hit the orchestral flourishes of Belle & Sebastion or Camera Obscura, nor the sarcastic witticisms of Stars. But the music is light and airy enough. I suppose the best and worst thing I could say about Twilight is that it sounds “nice.” You can dance to it, but the beats don’t require much rhythm or energy. The lyrics are forgettable; neither condemnable nor impressive. It’s not sleepy, but it doesn’t rock. So yeah… it’s nice. If the taste of water could form a band, it might sound like Baskervilles.

Bella Morte – Beautiful Death

Beautiful Death starts off promisingly enough. Frontman Andy Deane has a Martin Gore-esque baritone, made all the more chilling by a sole synth line on opening number “Find Forever Gone,” but whatever initial interest is piqued is soon dashed once the rest of the band joins in. Bella Morte wants so hard to be dark like Depeche Mode while still maintaining a metal edge. And indeed, the drums do factor in a lot of metal double-kick work, but the guitar riffs sound so canned that the group never quite achieves rockin’ levels. I never thought I’d write “Orgy did it better” in a review but uh… have you dudes heard Candyass?

Danava – Unonou

I take it back. I’m putting a moratorium on being influenced by Black Sabbath. As an exercise in guitar dexterity, Danava is solid. But as a compelling musical outfit, not so much. The group noodles on and on and on and… you get the idea. The album title is a made-up word, and the reasoning behind the title (“I hate being specific. It’s boring,” quoth frontman/guitarist Dusty Sparkles) more or less sums up the band’s songwriting. Sure, the songs are virtuosic. And they also blend brass/woodwind, strings, and synths into the sludgy metal mix. But Sabbath kinda already did that. Like 30 years ago. So while the group’s songs exhibit a technical ecstasy on par with uh… Technical Ecstasy… there’s little left to the imagination. Danava’s songs require skill to play, but ultimately these guys are trying really, really hard for such a redundant payoff. I’m gonna go spin Vol. 4…

Danger Radio – Punch Your Lights Out

Proof that you’re getting too old for this shit: When the groups you hated for ripping off your favorite bands start getting ripped off by other acts. Just as The Rocket Summer bastardized my love of Something Corporate’s heartfelt yet catchy piano rock by using way too many instruments to cover up poor lyrical choices, so too does Danger Radio do the same a generation later. Super poppy and extra super clean, this stuff haunts diabetics’ dreams. It’s somewhat unfair to draw only a SoCo reference, though, as Danger Radio includes way more funk, so all you closet Maroon 5 fans can feel cheated too, I guess.

Facing New York – Get Hot

Going through the review pile has been a bit of chore this issue, so I was less than enthused when I popped in Facing New York’s Get Hot. And admittedly, I was a bit underwhelmed by the band’s quasi-funky yet understated indie rock. Then the record shoved its delicately danceable tentacles right through my ears. Oh, I screamed at first. And there was a lot of blood. Like, Johnny Depp’s death scene from Nightmare on Elm Street-levels. But when I came to, halfway through the album, I realized I actually liked Get Hot a poop-ton. Somewhere between Steely Dan, Cake, Boz Scaggs, and The Dismemberment Plan, Facing New York crafted a delicious, catchy record. The second half drops the funk for more of a rock angle, but honestly, the band sounds great either way. Mad props for everyone!

The Out_Circuit – Pierce the Empire With a Sound

No, they’re not a queercore band. The Out_Circuit attempts to fuse Christian, industrial, darkwave, and a dash of hardcore, and the result is somewhat uneven. Opening number “Come Out Shooting” is appropriately spooky and ethereal, but the borderline screamo vocals conflict with the music just a little too much. This collision of styles might have been the point, but the jarring result simply doesn’t work. The record leans more clearly in the ambient realm on track two, “Passchendaele,” which is for the best. The Out_Circuit sometimes gets a tad too iconoclastic for its own good, but when central figure Nathan Burke embraces his subtler, bass-heavy notions (and cleaner vocals), he really shines.