[You might say I've been watching too many action movies.]
One’s a seasoned veteran of the punk rock force. The other is a wise-cracking Brit who knows a thing or two about the Internets. Together, they have to figure out a way to take down crime boss Funekei Yoshida (played by Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa). Trying to break up international drug rings is hard work; some would even say suicide. Armed with only acoustic guitars and two songs a piece, these mad men are… Kevin Seconds *BLAM!* Mike Scott *ZOOM!* in… Split 7” *KA-POW!* This fall, justice has a new face, and acoustic punk has a new slab o’ wax.
SCENE: Kevin Seconds, he of 7 Seconds fame, enters, beginning the seven-inch with “Disappearing Girl.” It’s about a flaky girl, and sure to appeal to Seconds’ fans. His other contribution, “Slights & Snickers,” is the catchiest track of the split. It’s a nimble little number about a love triangle (“You found the perfect woman / Too bad she married me” goes one memorable line), revealing that 30 years after he started 7 Seconds, Kevin still knows how to craft great songs. Also, he fights a gaggle of gang members without spilling his coffee.
SCENE: The record flips over. Expository dialogue about how Yoshida killed Seconds’ parents. Will revenge quench his thirst for… revenge?
SCENE: Mike Scott (ex-Phinius Gage) delivers two more acoustic ditties. Although subdued compared to Seconds’ toe-tappers, “Back to the Drawing Board” and “The Scandal Song” are still winners in their own way. Scott’s songs speak more about struggling with technology, romance, political correctness… really just working up the will to deal with people in general. Scott fixes a bad guy with his steely gaze and says, “You have the right to be dead.” Bad guy blows up.
SCENE: Seconds stabs Yoshida through the chest with a kitana, pinning him to a wheel. Fireworks shoot out of the wheel, which then begins to spin. Then he explodes. Seconds and Scott walk into the distance. Credits roll.