This weekend, in secret, the three men who constitute The Science Clubbers gathered in the Pennsylvania mountains to record Failure Ballads, a six-song collection of songs about ruining everything. These songs are played at such fast speeds that they sound like happy songs. The EP may be called Totally Bellies if I get my way. We recorded a seventh song during this session. It's a cover that should be familiar to people who are cool and will be available for free if you ask politely. The others you'll have to pay for, motherfucker. Mixing 'n' mastering is being handled by Will and Dale from A Golden Era, whose greatest feat may very well have been defeating Nate Adams' The Percentages in band battle. But from now on they shall be known for teaching S-Club how to play together, in time. Mixes are forthcoming. BE ALARMED.