Fake Problems - 'Real Ghosts Caught on Tape'

Dear Fake Problems,

I'm breaking up with you. Please don't write me.

Signed,

Joseph T. Pelone

P.S. - We'll always have How Far Our Bodies Go.

Vinyl Vednesday 3/24/10

[Vinyl Vednesday is a weekly feature about three favorite vinyl finds. It’s not meant to be a dick-measuring contest, but it kinda is one. E-mail pelonej1@gmail.com with your own big finds!]

Records: Armalite’s Armalite (2006) on white, Fake Problems’ How Far Our Bodies Go (2007) on black, and Peter, Paul and Mary’s The Bet of Peter, Paul and Mary: Ten Years Together (1970) on black.

Place of Purchase: Armalite came from Repo and PPM is from Siren. Bodies, meanwhile, was purchase when I saw the band on tour with Crime in Stereo at the Moose Lodge in Doylestown.

Thoughts: “Super group” gets tossed around a lot. Most bands that get that label might have one or two songs, but can’t top its’ members other works (Them Crooked Vultures < Foo Fighters + Nirvana). One group that actually lives up to the name is Armalite. The band is a who’s who of punk lifers – Dr. Dan Yemin (Lifetime, Paint It Black, Kid Dynamite, my dreams *swoon!*), Atom Goren (Atom and His Package), Mike McKee (Kill the Man Who Questions, Amateur Party), and Jeff Ziga (Affirmative Action Jackson). What you get here is 24 minutes of pop-punky hardcore. Think Kid Dynamite with Atom and His Package’s melodies – toughxcore and insanely catchy. My only complaint about this band is that they don’t play nearly enough shows. OK, time to play “Dan’s Hands Melt” 100 more times…

OK, I’m back. Fake Problems got slagged with the Against Me! tag when they started off – Tom Gabel’s Sabot label released a bunch of their stuff too – but they’re pretty different. If anything, they’ve taken the folk-punk tag in the opposite direction – more indebted to Creedence Clearwater Revival than The Replacements, country-fied ‘n’ bonerfried, and thoroughly silly. How Far Our Bodies Go collects 15 of my favorite FP tunes [NOTE: The album is only 13 tracks long. Two of the tracks combine songs].

ARBITRARY MUSICAL SEGUE!

I got into Peter, Paul and Mary after I saw footage of them performing at the Newport Folk Festival (I think). Their harmonies grabbed me right away. Like the members themselves, the vocals were warm, even playful at times. I opted for this greatest hits package, which showcases some stellar covers of tunes like Bob Dylan’s “Blowin’ in the Wind” and John Denver’s “Leaving on a Jet Plane.” “Jet Plane” is given a cascading multi-part vocal that’s just lovely; I prefer it to the original. The group’s originals are a mixed bag – “If I Had a Hammer (The Hammer Song)” is uplifting; the cynical “I Dig Rock and Roll Music” is kinda douchey) – but overall, I’m glad I picked this up.

Fake Problems - 'It's Great to Be Alive'

Released in 2007, Fake Problems' full-length debut How Far Our Bodies Go was an infectious folk-punk/Southern rock hybrid jam-packed with witty asides and howling passion. Bodies’ 2009 follow-up, It’s Great to Be Alive, asks the question, “What if we just did the same thing, but bigger? Like Jerry Bruckheimer bigger?” The result is questionable.

It’s Great to Be Alive follows How Far Our Bodies Go’s playbook by opening with a quick mission statement, with “1 2 3 4” replacing “How Far Our Bodies Go.” Instead of singing about scraping by and fucking up (my favorite punk rock topics besides, like, unity and stuff), Alive seems set on detailing raunchy raunchiness and bewitching women. Oh, and cramming as many instruments in as possible. Here’s a list: guitar, banjo, organ, piano, synth, dobro, mandolin, glockenspiel, vibraslap, bass, violin, drums, marching snare (cause a kit’s snare just won’t do!), trombone, flute, baritone saxophone, alto saxophone, tenor saxophone, cello, mellotron, trumpet, and of course trumpets. The result: It’s Great to Be Alive feels fucking cramped.

Another hindrance is the core songwriting. Frontman Chris Farren has flirted with bar band cock rock before (Check the kitschy ode to Evel Knievel “How Do You Spell Hero (E-V-E-L)?”), but he goes too deep here. There’s so much clumsy sex/religion imagery (and glockenspiel) it’s like a younger Meatloaf. When Farren runs out of hackneyed things to say, he settles for that old rock ‘n’ roll staple, the non-word. Such Little Richard-esque non-words presented here include “doo doot doot doo doo” and “a-doot doot doot doot doo-doo.” It’s no "womp-bomp-a-loom-op-a-womp-bam-boom," but whatever.

Beneath its superfluous layers, It’s Great to Be Alive’s biggest fault is its homogeny. Sure, the band explores disco punk on songs like “Diamond Rings” and “You’re a Serpent, You’re a She-Snake” and gets their most thrillingly epic (and even romantic) on closer “Heart BPM.” And “The Dream Team” is an incredible Ramones-y cut. But for the most part, It’s Great to Be Alive sounds like overproduced versions of Fake Problems songs I like. And there’s little point in playing approximations when I can just put on the real thing. Which is funny, since Farren straight up says “I hate repeating myself release after release” on “Level With the Devil.” I guess hating it doesn’t stop him from doing it. Fake Problems is a fantastic live band, one of my current favorites, so maybe this new material will win me over once it sheds its strings. For the time being, though, I’ll have to settle for hoping this is a mere sophomore slump and that LP #3 will be better.

Smoke or Fire/Fake Problems live at Siren Records

[Here's some old shite - two concert reviews for City Paper.]

Love means never having to say you’re sorry for dragging your significant other to a punk rock show on Valentine’s Day.

Smoke or Fire and Fake Problems, with support from The Menzingers, The Steinways and Stay Sharp, played Siren Records in Doylestown, Pa. Thu., Feb. 14 for a crowd of dudes and dudettes in love and/or lust. Despite some hiccups here and there, the show was a zesty concoction of varying degrees of punk.

Stay Sharp opened the show with a quick set of Kid Dynamite-influenced punk/hardcore, serving up quick jams without too much preachiness. The Menzingers followed with a strong set of punk jams somewhere between Against Me! and Anti-Flag, with slight reggae and post-punk touches sprinkled on every so often. These guys love gang vocals, with co-vocalists (and guitarists) Tom May and Greg Barnett shouting just about every line together. Menzingers know how to write anthems too, just like their idols The Clash, whom they covered that night with a rendition of “Straight to Hell.” Here is a band to watch in 2008.

A band to avoid in 2008 is pop punk act The Steinways. While the act’s watered down Ramones/Queers style wasn’t necessarily bad — it was even cute and catchy at times – it became tiresome after the group refused to leave the stage several songs after its set was supposed to end. Other people have to play, assholes, and the audience didn’t pay just to see you.

In a way, though, it doesn’t matter how long The Steinways overplayed, thanks to Fake Problems. Easily the most energetic and entertaining band of the night, Fake Problems tore through tunes like “Adam’s Song,” “Crest on the Chest” and set opener “Maestro of This Rebellion” with abandon, instruments flying everywhere and smiles broad and ready. But for all the chaos on stage, the tunes were nearly note perfect, a solid balance between showmanship and virtuosity. While a blown amp awkwardly ended the band’s set early by a song, Fake Problems’ CCR-sped-up-a-few-RPMs style was a life-affirming moment.

Not that headliners Smoke or Fire were a poor finale. The band’s straightforward punk rock was all grit and throaty yells. Although the group couldn’t physically match Fake Problems’s energy, it certainly got by on the strength of frontman Joe McMahon’s songwriting. Smoke or Fire’s all too-brief set (thanks Steinways!) focused mostly on last year’s This Sinking Ship, but the band slipped in some older material in the form of “Point Break” and set ender “California’s Burning.” Also worth noting was touring bassist Gwomper, of Avail fame, who brought some lightheartedness to the set.

The crowd was a good one, never getting so violent as to spoil anyone’s fun, up until “California’s Burning,” when Siren reverberated with fans’ voices. The connection between McMahon and the crowd was evident on just about every chorus, and it’s a testament to his band’s skills that they bond on such a level. Overall, it was a good Valentine’s Day for the anti-corporate, three-chord-loving set.